* Please note that these are not my own insecurities... not that I don't have any. My insecurity is that you won't revisit my blog, or share my blog on Facebook or Twitter (so please do!).
Does this outfit make me look fat?
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| Body dysmorphia |
Women: Even if we are as thin as a twig, we often feel (at one time or another) that there is at least one part of our body, if not our entire body, that is fat.
Men: This is entrapment. When she asks you that dreadful question, if you don't think she looks fat, you can answer, "What?! You look like you need a piece of cake!" If you do think she looks fat, don't say that it does. Instead, suggest another outfit that is more flattering on her, or quickly change the subject.
I am getting old
Women: It seems that society thinks that when men age, they become distinguished; when women age, they become old hags. Therefore, we feel less attractive as we age. However, no matter what age we are, we often feel that we are old, or at least relatively older. A 40 year old will think she is old compared to a 20 year old, but a 70 year old will think the 40 year old is young!
Men: Make her feel that she is the only woman you want to be with. Her life experiences and accomplishments have helped her to develop maturity and provide valuable insight into things. Appreciate these qualities and how important they are to you and your relationship.
My boobs are too small (or too big)
Why don't men have good eye contact? Because nipples are not considered eyes!
Women: Most of us want bigger breasts because we think men want that. But not all men are obsessed with big breasts (although sometimes it seems that way). Some men don't care about breast size, or even prefer small breasts. Some men are more into legs or butts. On the other end of the spectrum, women who are well-endowed may complain about back pain, and that men are attracted towards them primarily based on their chest. These women may also feel that men do not respect them as much for their mind and personality, and they have to work harder to prove that they are more than just a Barbie doll.
Men: Please try to control yourself and do not stare at our chest. Please show us respect and don't embarrass yourself. And if you think you are slickly sneak furtive glances, we can still tell! Whatever breast size your partner has, tell her that they are beautiful (especially if they are small).
I am too short (or too tall)
Women: Most of us want to be taller because we think tall, long-legged women are more desirable. But keep in mind that some men prefer petite women. On the other hand, tall women may feel self-conscious about their height, and think their selection of men is limited because they need to find someone the same height or taller.
Men: Reassure her that you like her size (petite or tall). And be confident being with her (especially if she is taller).
I am unattractive
Women: We are concerned about our fashion sense (style, clothes, shoes, jewelry, handbags), makeup, hair (color, shape, thickness, balding, excessive facial or body hair), or butt size/shape. We may check out other women and envy those who have what we don't. But the grass is always greener on the other side. Women with straight hair perm their hair or use a curling iron. Women with curly hair get a straight perm or use a straight iron. Women with a small butt want a bigger, rounder one because that is the current trend. Women with a big, round butt want a smaller one because they feel fat. (See my post on How to make yourself more physically attractive.)
Men: Praise her about these things. Notice if she is wearing a new outfit or shoes, or has a new haircut/hairstyle. She puts in effort to look good for you, so it would be great if you acknowledge it.
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| Snow White's stepmother was so insecure about her looks that she would kill to be the most beautiful. |
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