Be picky or settle?

A friend sent me an article which supported settling for a man, even when women are young.  The argument was that as women age, the pool of available men dwindle and women become less attractive, so women would be even lucky if a man would settle for them as well.  In addition, the article talks about how romance fades in relationships anyway, so one should be practical and have a guy around to help out with the home and children, and bring in a second income.  I agree that these are all valid points.  However, I have been in relationships that were "okay."  And I wasn't happy.

Should we be picky or should we settle for Mr. Okay, especially as we get older?  Will there ever be truly a Mr. Perfect?  The current high divorce rate and percentage of unhappy marriages tell us likely not.  Even men whom these women thought were their Prince, ended not being so.  (Check out the forum on Why we stay in unhappy relationships.) 

The Honeymooners

I don't expect the guy I end up with to be perfect since everyone has faults or quirks.  But there are certain qualities I would like.  He doesn't have to be objectively good looking, but should be attractive to me (and personality plays an important part in how attractive one is).  We don't have to share many similarities.  I am not looking for a male version of me.  In fact, it is good to have someone who balances us.  I am not looking for the best guy I can find; otherwise, we will never be satisfied with the person we are with.

I am looking for someone whom I want to live day-to-day with, to do mundane and exciting activities with, someone who is trustworthy and dependable, who respects me and loves me for me (appreciates my good qualities and accepts my bad ones - and I will do the same for him), who contributes to the relationship and reciprocates, who has similar goals and values, and who I can converse and work out problems with.  These are all reasonable qualities to want because if the partner does not have these, the relationship will eventually be in trouble.  I am not nick-picking and requiring certain things such as a specific height, race, etc.  It is important to tease out what is important (what we need) from what we prefer in a relationship (of course, it would be nice if they have what we prefer as well).  It is important to be picky, but to be picky with the important things, and not to compromise certain standards.  (Please see Forum on Can people change?)

Romance is rampant at the beginning of relationships, I want someone whose company I will still enjoy when the jitterbugs subside.  I think it's better to be alone than to come home to someone whom I don't want to come home to.  After all, I do need to spend the next few decades with him, kiss him, sleep next to him, and have children with him.  If I just want an extra body around so I am not alone or to have help with the home and children, I can live with a good friend.

Will & Grace