I am dedicating this post to my friend, Belinda. Belinda is my high school friend who was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer four years ago. This was shocking because she was only in her early 30's, never smoked, and lived a healthy lifestyle. She underwent radiation therapy and chemotherapy, even various experimental chemo treatments. However, nothing helped. Recently, her doctors told her that she has two weeks to live. She told me that she wished she could be anyone else in the world rather than herself right now. But because that cannot happen, she has accepted fate. I cannot fathom how she feels.
I asked myself what I would do if I knew I had two weeks to live. I would meet with family and friends on an individual basis to catch up, stroll down memory lane, and tell them how much I appreciate them. I would not tell them I was dying because I would not want the conversation to have a sad undertone. I would want their last experience with me to be happy. But why should I wait until I know I am dying to tell those I care about that I appreciate them?
We all have a finite amount of time to live. It seems like we will live forever when we are young, but no one is immune to death. We eventually use up our time. We could live for another day, a few years, or several decades more. Even if we are young and healthy, we could die the next day without warning (no one wakes up knowing they will get hit by a car later that day).
Therefore, we should be wise in how we use our precious (limited) time. Appreciate those you love. Appreciate yourself. Do things you enjoy. Enjoy each moment for what it is, as each one is unique. You may not have that exact moment again with the same combination of factors (the specific surroundings/environment/situation, same people around you doing what they were doing, emotions/thoughts you had, etc).
If you were on your deathbed, chances are that you would wish you had spent more time with family and friends, and had done things that you loved. No one wishes they had spent more time at work. I am not saying to quit work and just hang out with family and friends, or spend all your money on hobbies and vices in order to be happy. Rather, do not take loved ones for granted. Tell them you appreciate them from time to time. Take time for yourself. Do not work your life away. There will always be more work that needs to be done.
Do not waste time being unhappy or negative. I am not saying you cannot feel hurt or upset if something bad happens. That's human and will happen whether you want it or not. Rather, do not dwell on it. Instead, practice letting go of the upset that you might experience, especially trivial matters. Almost everything in life is a choice. You choose how to react to any situation. Do you want to spend your life being mostly upset... or mostly happy? Even if you were in an accident and lost your leg, it could be worse. Be thankful to be alive rather than mourning your leg the rest of your life. My friend, Belinda, would still rather be in that situation than hers.
Being positive does not just affect you. It has a ripple effect and affects those around you. I have been in relationships with those who are negative, and am now with someone who is always positive. What a difference! It sets the tone for the relationship. No one likes to be around a grumpy old man/woman, even if they are in a young body. Who likes being around a constant complainer or sourpuss? Being often negative makes the relationship toxic. Your partner needs to constantly comfort, or cater to you. It is consuming and draining for your partner, and eventually, for the relationship.
Being in a relationship with a positive person is like constantly being around sunshine. Who doesn't like being greeted by someone who is smiling and happy to see them? Who doesn't like a lot of laughter or lightness in their interactions? Whenever problems arise in life or in the relationship, they attempt to problem solve and offer emotional support without scowl or much complaining. It is very uplifting and makes everything seem like it will be okay.
So prioritize who or what is important to you, and use your (limited) time to pay attention to those people or things. You really do only live once. So live it well... and happily.
My primary goals/purposes in life are to:
1 - help/benefit others
2 - truly love someone and be loved
3 - be happy
Helpful links:
How to make your personality more attractive
Can people change?
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