Although I do not promote superficiality, looking better makes you more confident and feel good about yourself. We can only try to be the best person we can be. And that encompasses two main elements - appearance and personality. (See my post on How to make your personality more attractive.) But the things you do to improve yourself should really be for you, not for a man. Besides, men have different tastes and preferences. You cannot conform to every man's preferences. It is best to just be yourself and he will/should love you for who you are. (See my post on What impresses women and men.)
Body
You are only given one body, so be good to it. Your body will treat you well if you treat it well.
1. Exercise to be in shape. Weight and body type play a large factor in attraction, so it is important to maintain a good physique. You will also feel more energetic, confident and positive with exercise and an attractive, healthy body.
2. Eat healthy. You are what you eat. Your body is built upon the nutrients you feed it. If you give your body mostly junk food, your body will become "junk." Your body is like a car. It will work better and last longer if you use premium oil than regular. So have a sensible and well-balanced diet. Starving yourself is an unhealthy way to become thinner.
3. Drink more water. A good indication of adequate hydration is having light yellow or clear urine.
4. Get adequate quality sleep. You will feel more energetic and have fewer eye circles/bags.
5. Groom yourself and maintain good hygiene. You want to look presentable and show that you take care of yourself. Mani-pedi's add to the polished appearance. When brushing teeth, brush your tongue to help prevent bad breath. You could be Angelina Jolie but if you have bad breath or body odor, you will drive Brad Pitt away.
6. Remove excessive facial and body hair. Pluck, shave, bleach, wax or laser it. Common areas people often forget about are stray hairs in between the eyes, emanating from the nose, above the lip, and under the chin... (and for the men - hair in the ears).
7. Have good posture. It will make you appear more confident and taller (and have a bigger chest).
8. Improve what you feel you issues have with.
- Too short? (I prefer the term petite.) Wear high heels.
- Too tall? Wear flats.
- Flat chested? Wear a bra with a lift. (For a more polished look, use a bra strap holder to prevent the straps from showing or falling off your shoulder.)
- Have unattractive feet? (Hammertoes and bunions are often a result of wearing uncomfortable shoes.) See a podiatrist.
Face
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| From Princess Diaries |
1. The purpose of makeup is to hide blemishes and enhance facial features. However, most men do not like women who wear excessive makeup. You also do not want to scare or disappoint him if you wear a lot of makeup but look very different when he sees you later without any makeup. I personally prefer natural-looking makeup so my face looks enhanced without looking like I'm wearing (much) makeup. Women may think glitter on makeup is attractive but men don't care much for it.
2. Go to a place/store where a professional makeup artist can give you a makeover and makeup tips. First check out how they put on their own makeup or how they make up other clients to see if you like their work. They tend to put on a lot of makeup so tell them if you have preferences (e.g., a natural but enhanced look, emphasis on making your eyes stand out). They may encourage you to buy products afterwards. Don't feel pressured to buy them all, just the ones you think you will use. Ask if they can give you samples if you are unsure.
3. BB creams are an all-in-one facial product that acts as a moisturizer, primer, foundation, and sunblock. It is tinted so it evens skin tone and hides blemishes.
4. Wear sunscreen on both your face and neck to prevent premature wrinkles and age spots. People often forget to take care of their neck, and it gives away their age even though their face appears younger.
5. Research has shown that men are attracted towards red lipstick.
6. A healthy, clear complexion with a glow catches a lot of attention. So if you have skin problems such as moderate to severe acne, consider treatment or see a dermatologist. If you have oily skin, occasionally powder or blot your face to remove excess oil.
7. Eyebrows are particularly important because they shape your face and eyes. I suggest having them professionally done the first time so they will be shaped well. Afterwards, you can maintain them yourself. Be careful not to make them too thin or short though.
8. Wear contacts or glasses, whichever flatters your face better (it's contacts for most people).
9. Wear a flattering hairstyle, especially one that conforms to the shape of your face. Trim/cut your hair regularly to keep the ends healthy. If you have longer hair, having different looks/styles such as braids and/or flowers in the hair can be attractive because men do not see the same look every time.
10. Switch/alternate your facial and hair products. Your body gets used to the same products over time, making them work less well.
11. Smiling makes you more attractive. If you do not have (relatively) perfect teeth, consult your dentist about whitening or straightening them. You will want to smile more and show off your teeth if you have a great set of pearly whites.
Clothing
The function of clothes is more than keeping us warm and preventing us from getting arrested for indecent exposure. Clothes can help us hide our worst features and emphasize our best ones. We can improve our appearance (and confidence) by dressing better. But dressing better does not necessarily mean dressing younger, wearing tight clothes, or showing more skin.
1. It is best to look presentable, age-appropriate, and classy. Classy does not mean the clothing has to be formal or expensive. But it should look neat without wrinkles, clean, well-maintained, and most importantly, good on you.
2. From clothes to bra, wear things that fit you well and flatter you (most women wear the incorrect bra size). Fitting well does not mean that the clothing has to be tight. In fact, it may be less flattering if you are not thin and wear something tight because it focuses attention on the problem areas (common areas include the belly and sides of the back). Different cuts of clothing are more appropriate for certain body shapes. Watch What Not to Wear or hire a wardrobe consultant.
3. Quality over quantity. If you have a limited budget, I recommend buying a few good-quality articles of clothing over many poor-quality ones because the good-quality clothes will look better and last longer. You don't want clothes that will pill, stretch, shrink, bleed, fade, damage, or wrinkle easily.
4. When buying clothes, consider how easy it would be to maintain it. Does it require ironing frequently? (I prefer garment steamers which remove wrinkles quicker and do not damage fabrics.) If you have a lot of clothes that require dry cleaning, can you afford this expense regularly?
5. Tailor your clothes if needed. But add the cost of tailoring to the price tag when purchasing the item to decide whether it is worth the overall price.
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| Cinderella as she transforms |
- You may discover clothes you forgot about but still like.
- Mix and match clothes and accessories to create many combinations. This will make you seem more stylish and as if you have more outfits and various looks.
- Donate clothes and accessories you no longer like or wear. Most of us only wear a small fraction of the clothes we own.
- You should look forward to wearing your clothes. If you are unsure about keeping a certain article of clothing, ask yourself, "Would I want to be seen wearing this if I bumped into an ex?" If you haven't worn an item for 1-2 years, then donate it because it implies you don't like it enough (unless you haven't worn it because it is only for special occasions). Going forward, if you want to keep track of which clothes you have worn, turn the hanger around so the hook faces the opposite direction when you hang up the item after wearing it.
- If your wardrobe consists of only a few colors, consider buying clothes of other colors for a refreshing look. For example, several of my friends primarily have clothes in blue, gray or black. When they wear a brighter color, they appear more vibrant and young.
- If you do not want to get rid of clothes for sentimental reasons, think of how long you will keep them for - a lifetime? Keep pieces that are most sentimental or representative of that era or memory.
- If you are keeping clothes because you think they will come back in style later - there is no guarantee that it will happen. And even if it did, that will take decades, your clothes may not be in good condition by then, and the new style will probably have a modern version, so your clothes will still look dated.
- Aside from clothes you keep because they are necessary (such as a sweatshirt for cold weather), keep clothes that are "basic" (such as a white tank top/cami) or classic because they are versatile and can be worn on various occasions. There will be also clothes you keep just to wear at home or on occasions where the clothes may get dirty (such as cleaning, gardening or painting).
- Tailor clothes that you like but do not fit well.
7. I used to wear plain monochromatic oversized clothing. Then I revamped my entire wardrobe by buying more stylish clothes that fit me (sometimes they required tailoring). Now I feel more confident and frequently get compliments.
Age
It is all mentality. Your attitude contributes to the aura you exude, and people generally prefer to be in the presence of others who are light and lively. Are you young at heart, or a 20 year old going on 70? Be happy with your age and current stage of life. Every stage has its good points.
1. When you are young, you are more attractive and have the advantage of time, energy, and potential.
2. When you are older, you are more self-aware, secure about yourself, confident, mature and wise, established in your career and life, financially better off, and aware of what you want in life and in a partner.
this is great! I love how honest you are
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