There are various types of love. There is love for family, friends and companion animals. Then there is romantic love. Within the realm of romance, what we call "love" can be further subdivided into infatuation, eroticism, being in love (and more).
Infatuation/eroticism
It is important to distinguish between infatuation and love. Infatuation is a "superficial love." It is an extreme lust or passion for someone, or an obsession. It typically occurs after you just met the person or the relationship is new. You do not know the person well yet - their values, background, personality, habits, routines, preferences, opinions on various topics, goals for the future, or flaws. The person and relationship seem exciting and perfect. The intense joy you feel thinking about, and being around, this person can easily be mistaken for love. While such feelings might ripen into a lasting love, these feelings are in the early stages and mostly based on a fantasy about a connection we yearn for, and that feels extremely fulfilling in the moment. Eroticism is similar to infatuation, but eroticism is more focused on the sexual or physical connection.
Caring for someone
You can care for someone, but not love them. However, if you love them, you care for them. Once you are settled in a relationship, it is important to distinguish love from merely caring for your partner. A substantial portion of long-term relationships consist of two people who become good friends that are comfortable with, and care about, each other... but not to the point that they love the other person. And this lack of love can lead to problems in the relationship.
Each love you have for a different person can be a different experience or feeling. For me, love is such a powerful emotional phenomenon that no single word can adequately nor appropriately capture all that it encompasses, so I have to settle for the word love to merely represent it.
Infatuation/eroticism
It is important to distinguish between infatuation and love. Infatuation is a "superficial love." It is an extreme lust or passion for someone, or an obsession. It typically occurs after you just met the person or the relationship is new. You do not know the person well yet - their values, background, personality, habits, routines, preferences, opinions on various topics, goals for the future, or flaws. The person and relationship seem exciting and perfect. The intense joy you feel thinking about, and being around, this person can easily be mistaken for love. While such feelings might ripen into a lasting love, these feelings are in the early stages and mostly based on a fantasy about a connection we yearn for, and that feels extremely fulfilling in the moment. Eroticism is similar to infatuation, but eroticism is more focused on the sexual or physical connection.
Caring for someone
You can care for someone, but not love them. However, if you love them, you care for them. Once you are settled in a relationship, it is important to distinguish love from merely caring for your partner. A substantial portion of long-term relationships consist of two people who become good friends that are comfortable with, and care about, each other... but not to the point that they love the other person. And this lack of love can lead to problems in the relationship.
What is love?
Everyone has their own definition of love. In general, love is a deep connection to someone after knowing them well. You respect them. You love them for who they are, and accept them for who they are not. You accept their flaws (although this does not mean you do not want to them to better themselves). You care for them deeply. You are happy when they are happy. You hurt when they hurt. Their well-being is important to you such that you will make sacrifices for their happiness without regret or resentment.
Everyone has their own definition of love. In general, love is a deep connection to someone after knowing them well. You respect them. You love them for who they are, and accept them for who they are not. You accept their flaws (although this does not mean you do not want to them to better themselves). You care for them deeply. You are happy when they are happy. You hurt when they hurt. Their well-being is important to you such that you will make sacrifices for their happiness without regret or resentment.
Being in love
Personally, I think loving someone and being in love are different entities, although they share many commonalities. There is a degree of infatuation and eroticism when one is in love. One tends to be in love earlier in a relationship when the partner and things appear fresh and exciting. As the relationship further matures, being in love progresses to (a deeper) love. Of course, one can both be in love and love someone simultaneously.
For me, signs I love/am in love include the following:
- I would do something drastic for him (such as giving up an organ, assuming I have two of this organ).
- I would still care for him if something bad happened to him (he acquires a chronic illness or he later has a psychiatric condition).
- His happiness and welfare supersede mine.
- I gladly make sacrifices for him.
- I would do something drastic for him (such as giving up an organ, assuming I have two of this organ).
- I would still care for him if something bad happened to him (he acquires a chronic illness or he later has a psychiatric condition).
- His happiness and welfare supersede mine.
- I gladly make sacrifices for him.
- Thinking of him makes me feel happy (inside and out).
- I act differently around him.
- I make exceptions for him.
- I act differently around him.
- I make exceptions for him.
- I care for him even if he does not reciprocate.
- A disagreement, argument, criticism or disapproval hurts more coming from him than anyone else
- I accept him for who he is, and who he is not. However, this does not mean that I don't want him to better himself.
- A disagreement, argument, criticism or disapproval hurts more coming from him than anyone else
- I accept him for who he is, and who he is not. However, this does not mean that I don't want him to better himself.
- I understand what love songs are talking about. I really would be willing to walk a thousand miles just to get a glimpse of him.
- I get very emotional thinking or talking about him.
- The tone of my voice changes when speaking to him compared to other people.
- His name, possessions, and things associated with him carry special meaning.
- I think of him often. I think about him when I go to sleep, and when I awake.
- I do not have to question if I am in love. I know.
You will know when you are in love. If you have to ask if you are in love, then you are not.
- I get very emotional thinking or talking about him.
- The tone of my voice changes when speaking to him compared to other people.
- His name, possessions, and things associated with him carry special meaning.
- I think of him often. I think about him when I go to sleep, and when I awake.
- I do not have to question if I am in love. I know.
You will know when you are in love. If you have to ask if you are in love, then you are not.
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