Do you know what type of guy you want?
The first step is to know what type of man you want. Some women have trouble with this. Or they think they know, but really do not. They may date different types of men. Or if they date only one type of guy, that type may not actually be a good fit for them. For example, a woman who likes to date "bad boys" may be disappointed or frustrated that he does not pay her enough attention, does not treat her well, or is not willing to commit. It is important to differentiate between what you want and what you need.
Some women do not know what type of man they want because they may not know what they want in general. Without knowing who they really are themselves, what they want for themselves, or what their life goals are, it is difficult to know what they want/need in a partner. Therefore, it is important to focus on you and your goals first. Your goals will depend on your age, stage of life, interests, values, personality, job/financial status, religion, whether you want children, where you want to live, etc. Your partner should be able to fit into your goals. And since your goals may change over time, the type of man you seek may also change as you get older.
Are you doing something to keep attracting Mr. Wrong?
Think about the impression you give. For example:
How do you dress?
If you frequently wear short, tight clothes, do not wonder why sleazy men ask you out.
Where do you hang out?
If you keep spending time at the library, you may only be meeting bookworms.
Are you portraying yourself accurately (either in person or on online dating profiles)?
If you say you like sports, do not be surprised that you attract athletic men or guys who like to talk/watch/play sports with you.
Do you flirt with men who are not your type?
If so, Mr. Wrong may think he's your Mr. Right.
If Mr. Wrong asks you out, do you say "yes" anyway?
You may do your best not to attract Mr. Wrong, but he may find you appealing regardless. However, you can always stop yourself from dating him. Please see my post on How to reject someone.
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| Penelope (a black cat with a white stripe) running away from Pepe Le Pew's (a skunk) romantic intentions |
Time will tell
Very few people instantly know when they have met Mr. Right. The vast majority of the time, we date someone who has some potential to be Mr. Right. Sometimes the guy may even say/do things to give you the impression that they are more perfect than they really are, especially at the beginning of a relationship during the "good behavior" or "honeymoon" phase. Time will reveal whether he is truly Mr. Right or Mr. Wrong - sometimes in a matter of a few dates, and sometimes in a few years. Pay close attention to the things he says and does - Are they consistent over time? Do his words and actions match the type of guy you want? Dating means taking a gamble, and investing time and emotion to form and cultivate a relationship in order to learn whether you and your partner are compatible. But once you know that he is not right for you (and you have unsuccessfully tried to work it out), respect both his and your time by letting him go.
